The New Yorker
Description of a Guy in a Fantasy Romance Novel
What I Think Will Happen If I Go To A Bar And Order A Whiskey Neat
Court Transcript Recorded Moments After The Defense Heard “Landslide” For The First Time
Carrie Bradshaw Writes Her Column While Trapped In A Corn Maze
A Wedding-Info Card From An Alternate Universe Where Ostriches Recently Learned To Fly
Benjamin Franklin’s Google Search History from June, 1752
Questions I’ve Texted My Dad In Ascending Order of How Disappointed He Was To Receive Them
A Food Critic Reviews the Swedish Chef’s New Restaurant
What I Imagine Strangers Think About Me When They See Me Reading A Book In Public
Poems Edgar Allen Poe Wrote While Lost in a Corn Maze
Realistic Manual For Installing Your New Air-Conditioner
My Cat Just Said “Feed Me, Woman” Out Loud - Is This Normal?
Owing to Coronavirus Concerns, We Will Now Be Holding Our Coven Meeting on Zoom
McSweeney’s Internet Tendency
Dragon Hoarding Enormous Pile of Treasure Seeks Unpaid Intern
A Smoothie Recipe Written By a Cop in a Small Town That Just Had Its First Murder in 50 Years - named a “McSweeney’s Hidden Gem of 2020” by McSweeney’s editor Chris Monks
Email Signatures in Ascending Order of How Nervous I Am to be Emailing You - named a 2020 favorite by A Newsletter of Humorous Writing
Reductress
5 Holiday Treats You Won’t Make Because You’re Eating Chocolate Chips Out of the Bag Again
I Love the Smell of Old Books, Which is Why I Just Ate One
5 Fun Things to do With That One Thong You Hate
5 Barelegged Winter Looks That Say “I Do Not Own a Pair of Tights”
Weekly Humorist
It Won’t Clear Up, The Acne On My Chin Has Unionized - named one of Weekly Humorist’s best of 2020
The Belladonna
An Open Letter To Me, From The Full, Unopened Bottle of Expired Salad Dressing in My Fridge
Points In Case
A Day in the Life in an Alternate Universe Where the World Is Run by Female Country Singers
List: Groupon Deals Tailored to Your Emotional Breakdown
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Other Anecdotes That Begin With “Two Little Mice Fell Into A Bucket of Cream”
adjunct professor … but make it fashion